Saturday, July 30, 2011

Engaged a Week...

..and wow, the wedding-planning-fatigue has set in.

I now fully understand why brides turn into Bridezilla. Or at least why they are perceived to be Bridezilla. It's because everyone has an opinion about what YOU should do for YOUR wedding. And they share it. And then they don't like it when you tell them "thank you, but that isn't what I had in mind."

Ok, I may have said it more like "the only thing I have to do is get a marriage license and visit the JP." (Thanks to Cris @ Kiss My Tulle for that bit of wisdom!!)

And ok - maybe they didn't receive that so well. But seriously people. It is my wedding. I love you, and I want you there, but I'm not going to change what I want to accommodate you.

We've tentatively decided to have a destination wedding in Mexico, in October/November 2012. Because while I haven't always envisioned what I'd wear on my wedding day, I've always thought I'd get married on a beach at some gorgeous resort. That's what I want y'all.

And we're thinking (today) about going to Riviera Maya (aka Cancun/Playa del Carmen). Oh, and we're paying for it ourselves. These two points are key.

Here's what I've heard so far:
1. From my father, when my fiance called to get his blessing (BEFORE HE PROPOSED): We give our blessing, but traveling to Mexico is just too difficult for us.

Yeah, thanks Dad. Impeccable timing as usual.

For what it's worth (and apparently that isn't much), Cancun is a 2 hour flight from Orlando (where my parents are). That's the same flight time as them flying to DFW to see me. EXACTLY. WTF?

Oh, and by the way? We haven't even made final decisions on location, timing, etc.

Yes, I later talked to my family (but not my Dad - because there's no talking to my Dad about his feelings...), and they translated what he said to be "we give our blessing, even if we aren't able to attend the wedding." I'm not sure I'm 100% ok with that, but we'll do what our family always does - put it behind us and move on. We just aren't a talky-feely family y'all.

Moving on... the next thing I've been told:
2. You HAVE to have a white/ivory wedding dress. You'll regret it! (this from a well meaning dear friend who got married in a black dress..).

So here's my dark little secret - I've never wished for the big white dress. Mostly because I'm a big girl, and I'd prefer not to look like a big white cupcake on my wedding day. This is all about my own insecurity and how much I hate trying on clothes of any type. I just don't think my body is all dress-friendly. I've done the bridesmaid dress before and wow - yeah. Those fittings were just painful.

Plus - I'm having trouble imagining spending a gob of money - as in the MOST amount I've ever paid for a single garment - on a dress I'm going to wear for a few hours. Why?! I'm uber-practical, I admit it.

While I appreciate my friend's enthusiasm for the idea of the dress, and an offer to go dress shopping with me, I'm still having trouble with the whole idea of it.

I'm pretending to be on board with the dress idea. I'm pinning dresses on Pinterest (what? you aren't on Pinterest yet?!), I'm googling "plus-sized wedding dresses" like a mad woman. I'm researching dress shops here in the area to see if they carry plus-sized samples (because let's face it - if I'm going to drop some coin on a dress, I want to see how it looks on me). I'm talking myself into the whole idea.

But really? I don't know how I'm going to feel standing in front of the three-way mirror in some expensive dress that may or may not be flattering on me. And I'm still not even sure I want to go through that whole experience. Will I do it? Probably. but damn, I'm not comfortable with the whole idea yet.

3. Then there's my sister, whom I love dearly, but can't help but insert her opinions. I will mention that she's already had her wedding. Big church wedding, country club reception in our hometown. She tells me that she wants to be a part of the wedding planning, and wants to be the little sister through it all. Which is wonderful, and great.

Except that she's already decided that she will not be going to Mexico with her three children. I respect her decision. I really do. She isn't the type that has traveled a lot with the kids.

So I made the effort and invited her out to go dress shopping with me (per the above, still not high on my list of things I want to do, but I figure it's inevitable). She says she'd have to bring her youngest kiddo with her. At which point I reminded her she'd have to bring all the kid paraphernalia as well. It's not like I have a spare playpen or car seat, or bottles or ANYTHING for a 1 year old.

And I really, really want to see my little niece again. So that's not the issue. Promise. Bring her, we'll make it work was my response.

Then my sister says "are you SURE you don't want to come to FL to go dress shopping?!".

Yes. I'm sure.

My wedding. Revolves around me. For once.


I love my family. Dearly. We are all very close. And my friends. I need my friends. I appreciate that they care so much about me and want my day to be perfect.

My point is, I see how stressful wedding planning can be. And we've barely begun.

That is some scary shit right there.


We now resume our travel blogging.

Enjoy your new day!


  1. Girlfriend, you live for you. Have your wedding the way you want it and screw the rest of them. I'm with you, the cupcake picture would be enough for me to find something that fits my body style and I would be comfortable in. And wear what ever color looks great on you and makes you feel good. We KNOW color makes a difference! Good luck to you in your journey.

  2. You got it, sister! It is about you. Yet we are all still little kids looking for validation/approval from our parents and family. Having them consider not being there makes us feel so bad. But, it is your day. It's something you have had in mind for so many years. You do what you want, when you want, how you want, where you want and even wear whatever you want!