Tuesday, October 26, 2010

I had to go to the Emergency Room.

No no, sorry to scare you! Like 2 years ago.

I had to go to the Emergency Room a couple of years ago (better?).

And while it certainly wasn't a laughing matter, a couple of things happened that made me laugh until I cried.

Mostly because I was in a lot of pain (freakin gall stones!), but they were seriously hysterical.

So I had to go to the ER, and since it was my 2nd trip in a week, and they knew what was wrong, I got to wait with all of the other people-with-non-life-threatening conditions. And wait, and wait...


I'm sitting there - in pain - waiting. From across the room a lady woman starts hollerin - and I literally hollderin - that her boyfriend's butt hurt and someone needed to see him NOW. Let me try to recall the quotes for you:
"His butt hurts!"
"He's got a huge boil on his butt!"
"Someone better help him soon, this boil on his butt hurts!"

Over..and over...loudly. The entire waiting room was trying not to stare, as her boyfriend slunk lower, and lower in his chair. While avoiding sitting on the butt cheek in question... (staph infection of course). She was oblivious to his humiliation, and focused on his pain. Oh dear...

The second story requires a little bit of background (or perhaps it doesn't, but I'll share it anyway).
In Texas, a certain ethnicity brings the whole family to the ER with them. That's right...when one has to go, they ALL go. And I'm not talking about mom, dad, and kids. I'm talking about mom, dad, kids, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, and the neighbors. The whole barrio meets them there.

There had to be 20 people in there from this one family.

My friend (kind-hearted soul that she is drove me to the ER) and I were sitting near the doors, and as they all came in, she suddenly burst out laughing.

And could.not.stop.laughing.

She laughed until she was crying.

Sobbing even. Couldn't catch her breath.

And I had no idea what in the world she was laughing at.

So I'm staring at her like she's a loon, waiting for her to fill me in.

She finally catches her breath long enough to tell me.

"That guy that just walked in. The one in the pajama pants."
(I try to look around without staring...)

"He doesn't have on underwear!"
(erm, how is that funny, still waiting for the punchline)

"His thingy is all flopping around and you can see it through the flap! Wait until he walks by again."

So apparently my friend got flashed in the ER.

I never saw what she say - thank goodness.

The moral of the story? Unless you have a life-threatening injury, don't go to the ER.

You're welcome.

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